UN-FORTUNE-LY (UPDATED)

Who do I talk to about fortune cookies and their messages inside? I have been waiting for those pieces of paper to come true. Who is the fortune teller that knows all of this? Is it "Confucius"?? Someone very wise must know all this great stuff that is going to happen to you mysteriously. If it's not "Confucius" writing these than surely he left someone with some "knowledge" in charge. You don't just give this job to anyone. There has to be some teaching of skills, some refining, some kind of aura that this 2nd in command would have right??!!! I watched the TV shows, "You must be patient gwasshopper"!!! I've seen the movies, the chef from "Happy Days" in a time warp to the future with the "Karate Kid". "Wax On, Wax Off"!!! Then he catches a fly with his chopsticks!! Even a couple of weeks ago I saw some very old turtle smelling a clumsy, chubby, food obsessed "Kung Fu" panda and knew he was "the one". If that's all it takes that's me in a nutshell!!! I could write these messages and be more realistic.
TWO DAYS IN A ROW I had these fortune cookies. Yesterday at the "Happy Panda" (owned by that cartoon smelly, chubby guy) I got a fortune cookie with a message that I am pretty darn sure was a re-run. Then today at school another volunteer gave me 2 and 1/2 cookies (what does that empty half tell you!!!)
One of them said something about "being appreciated for my inner beauty", isn't that just a polite way of saying "You ugly on the outside, and since we can not see inside you, surely there's something beautiful in there". Good golly people, that's got to be older than "Confucius". What's the numbers on the back for??? Who started this whole thing???

I admit I have been gullible and saved a message or two, BUT NO MORE!!! Here's the one I saved and have been counting on...
"You will be traveling and coming into a fortune".
I seriously need a vacation and I have never been so broke in my life.
On the back is the #'s 5, 26, 27, 38, 39, 41. What is it telling me???
The last numbers could reflect my tummy, and hip size but it's not high enough. Or maybe the last # is when it will all be over for me. I have been all those ages before and now I am on year 41 !!!
It's high time to stop this false sense of something coming to us everytime we eat at a Chinese restaurant. I am boycotting fortune cookies. Tired of the disappointment. It's not like they have any flavor either, blah!!!
"SIGH!!!"