The bad, the hideous, and the great!!!

I think about blogging all the time but rarely can find the time too. I wish there was a keyboard in my head that transferred my thoughts to this site. Of course there would be some not so good things to transfer but I could delete those.
So much has happened in the last 2 months that it feels like years have passed. I am astounded at how fast time goes by. Sigh....

This past year with Michael has been so trying to me as a mom, and as a human being. I love my son dearly but there are so many times that I don't "like" him. GASP!!! I know what a horrible thing to say, but that's the truth. Even harder to say is that I look at him and I see myself. SIGH... I look back at my childhood and see the way he needs attention is exactly what I did (probably worse). The school year has been a struggle for sure. He is so smart but it is not coming through in his work at all.
He has been diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder ( he argues about everything!!! In my day we would have been described as "a pain in the ass"!!!)
Again, it is like looking at a mirror and discovering yourself . My heart aches as I try and tolerate the boy. The constant talking, the non stop interruptions while I am doing something that needs my concentration. The list goes on. We have tried a couple of medications but there is no miracle drug out there. One medicine helped him get work done at school but his impulsiveness is intense. The other medicine really helped the impulsiveness but he can't focus on getting any work done because he became hyper-sensitive to everything around him. SIGH...It is so easy to look at a child with behavior problems and judge them and their parents by what a person sees. People love to give advice on "what you should do". Unless you have a child that is like that just keep your mouth shut. It is so frustrating as a parent to have people say "he will grow out of it" UUHHH, no he won't. I am 41 and can see that I have not grown out of stuff. I am more aware of it and try my best to control my impulses, but it's a struggle. Praise God he is so smart but what that means is he is able to out argue me. He has valid points and wants them known. And when your 8 years old there are very few adults that can deal with adult reasoning from a child. It is a threat to them. Again your seen as a pain in the ass, or being smarty. I am slowly learning that he cannot control himself and I have to learn how to deal and mold him. Seriously, I am exhausted from daily tantrums. And I am angry. That's the worst part, I have to change myself to help my son. I have to learn new behaviors, new tools, be able to not get so angry with "the little things". I thought having a child was going to be easy, but what I have discovered is it's God's way of changing me. SIGH...
My husband was diagnosed with Celiac which means he is allergic to wheat's and other stuff (still learning what it is). He has to buy gluten free food and look at every label. What a pain. He is hungry and can't satisfy that yet. So I need to make an effort to help with this change. To be honest with you, it is really hard to help someone you don't like. I know, I know "pray for your enemies". Jesus gave some hard things to do if you are a stubborn mule like myself. SIGH...

OK enough of me being hideous!!! Now for the great stuff.

On a very positive note, my husband has done a couple acts of random kindness that have blown me away. In a week and a half time period I had run out of creamer for my coffee twice. I only like the coffee for the caffeine and the creamer. Any who, I realised this one Sunday night and said out loud "oh no, I am out of cream". It was to late for me to go to the store and I did not have the energy. The next morning when I was awakened by my son (there is no volume control on that boy) he was carrying me coffee. I said no, I didn't have any creamer. "But mom, dad went this morning already to the store and bought you some!!!" I sat straight up and was instantly awake. I was so shocked. I thanked my husband profusely and even called him at work to let him know that I was so thankful and appreciated it so much. Then later that week he took Friday off and we walked Michael to school. After dropping the boy off we took a walk and argued the whole way. Long story shortened, I hate the rhododendrons that are in front of our porch and told him I was taking them out. NO YOUR NOT, YES I AM. You get the point. The next day was my once a month scrapbook day with my friend Janet. I came home after midnight and when I drove up the rhoddie's were GONE!!!! YAY YAY YAY!!!!! Again another round of profuse thank yous. The very next day was Sunday and guess who discovered late again that she was out of cream??? That's right me!!! I went up stairs after my shocking discovery to shower and when I came down Michael said dad was outside working on his car. That should have been my first clue, he is not a mechanic. So the next day out of habit I opened the fridge and at the same moment remembered I was out of creamer but what is that in my fridge looking back at me and batting it's eyelashes at me. "Oh no he didn't, Oh yes he did, Oh my goodness yes he did"!!!! ELATION!!! My precious cream that apparently is life changing was there for me. The husband had sneaked up to the store and bought me my"heroin".

And men say women are so hard to please...............